by Andrea Engber

Hey Cupid, Love Hurts!

Many of us may know the origins of Valentines Day but what is not commonly known is that the iconic winged boy with his ready bow and arrow is actually the son of a single mother. 

Sure, there are some people who might know that Esther Howland, a single woman and contemporary of poet Emily Dickinson, was named Mother of the American Valentine.

In 1847, Esther’s college hosted Valentine festivities, but later banned them for being too frivolous. When Esther received an elaborate English Valentine sent by a family friend after her graduation at nineteen, she was so stunned by it’s artistry, workmanship and beauty, she decided to try her hand at making her own. Enlisting the help of some friends, her business was born and soon Esther was hauling in over $100,000 a year. A lot more than she would have made in chocolate. You go, girl!

As for the holiday’s namesake, well I did not know that it’s believed to originate from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. Thing is, there were a number of St. Valentines, so I wasn’t ready to delve further to find out which particular one named the day.

But back to Cupid, beautiful bad boy of love and heartache who often went sans diaper in some of the legendary depictions by painters and writers.

This pint-sized god was born to Venus, aka Aphrodite to the Greeks, who first mythologized these gods. One legend says Aphrodite; goddess of beauty and love was already pregnant with Eros, or Cupid (as named by the Romans) when she rose out of the sea:

“…First seed and beginning of generation, quickening guide of the system of the universe; and the quickleg boy, kicking manfully with his lively legs, hastened the hard labour of that body without a nurse, and beat on the closed womb of his unwedded mother; then a hot one even before birth, he shook his light wings and with a tumbling push opened the gates of birth.” —Nonnus, Dionysiaca 41.128

But more detailed versions say she gave birth to her favorite child as a result of one of her several affairs. Just because Venus De Milo is shown armless doesn’t mean she didn’t wrap her legs around some powerful gods with whom she dallied. You go, girl. But to her credit: another result of romantic passion was her son, Aneas, who was the founder of Rome.

And just like the mother who thinks no one is good enough for her son, she absolutely couldn’t tolerate even looking at Cupid’s love interest, Psyche. Let’s leave it that mom definitely interfered.

She had some priceless parenting skills, too. When Eros, or Cupid failed to notice a bee buzzing around him while he was resting among the roses, he was stung in the finger and howled. He flew to mom and carried on that this was the end. “I was struck by a small winged snake that farmers call a bee. Help! I’m dying. I’m dying!" Aphrodite, wise mother, who knew a performance when she saw one simply replied, “If the bee-sting is painful, what pain, Eros, do you suppose all your victims suffer." Ouch, and a side serving of guilt, to boot!

So before giving in to the hype of Valentine’s Day by smothering yourself in mounds of chocolate you felt compelled to buy, with money you could have better used otherwise, well, all I can advise is this: You go girl!